The Gimpy Colon*

*No, it's not another trendy bar.

The Upside…

Whelp! The cat scan (meow!) came out pretty well if I do say so myself. It looks like the medicine is working. I just have some issues with the lower right side (where my appendix is) where I still have pain. It’s called the terminal ileum for all you google freaks. My GI doctor said that there are probably adhesions there and that it’s going to be a wait and see situation. Lucky for me, it’s a very popular place to have Crohn’s disease and there are a few options. Surgery is the very last option by the way. Right now, we are going to concentrate on the medications, specifically the Remicade. I have my fourth round of Remicade this Monday and I’m hoping I feel more of a change. I hear that after the fourth or fifth round, there should be some sort of improvement. Meanwhile, we are adding another medication to the bucket. I think this makes an even 10 meds. I’m now on more medications than most grandmothers I know.

After a little over a week gluten-free, I am definitely feeling better in the stomach. I can’t speak for the rest of me though. Yesterday, I had another cortisol fit and fell asleep at my desk at least four times. Then, after work, I went straight to bed. Then I had trouble sleeping… then I was fine today. I mentioned all this to my GI doctor when he called and miraculously, I was called today by my brand new endocrinologist who will see me at the end of April, which I might add, is way better than the end of November when I thought I was going to meet this guy. I was told that November was for the not-so-urgent people… which I guess makes me urgent. Yesterday, I felt urgent. Today… not so much. My GI doctor and I had this plan where I was going to go off Prednisone 1mg at a time as opposed to 5mg at a time. But maybe that plan will change when I see the endocrinologist. Should be fun stuff.

Anyway, back to the gluten-free stuff which is where the title of this post comes from. It’s been working out. We have this little coffee shop that is walking distance from our house. Every Tuesday, Gimpy and Gimpy’s husband (hereinafter referred to as “Farmboy”) stroll down to the coffee shop for lunch. I used to get this fantastic mushroom brie soup that was TO DIE…. I also got half an egg salad sandwich, and then three sugar cookies with the yummy colored sugar topping. Delish! But now, since the soup has the rue, the egg salad has the bread and the sugar cookies have… gluten… I have to switch everything around. I knew that the shop didn’t do gluten-free stuff yet (they are kind of new). I got a gluten-free bread mix from the grocery store, made the bread in my bread maker, froze it, then grabbed two pieces of bread and brought them to the shop. They were happy to toast my bread, and put egg salad on it. Couldn’t do anything about the mushroom brie soup, but that’s OK, because they didn’t have any today anyway, and then… THEN… I got a hot chocolate with that fuzzy squirt milk they shoot into cups… I don’t know what it is… like a latte? but anyway, have a hot chocolate with fuzzy squirt milk… mushroom brie who? Sugar cookie what? After lunch tummy felt good and I went on with life.

Tummy would be happier if Farmboy wouldn’t keep eating my homemade gluten-free cookies. Really puts a damper on things. You know, you open the drawer and… D’OH!!!

Until next time people..



The Family Connection…

Whilst I wait for my GI doctor to call me on Monday with regard to my CT scan which I got last Friday, I decided to seek out someone to blame for this whole mess.

When we were first talking about Crohn’s disease and even more recently about Celiac disease, my doctor asked me if anyone else in my family had Crohn’s disease or Ulcerative Colitis. He said that they were genetic, and since I had a whopping case of Crohn’s disease, there had to be someone… I couldn’t think of anyone off the top of my head, but then again, I couldn’t imagine that people in my family would be running around talking about their bowels… except maybe me… I have a blog.

So I asked my mom, and she said that my grandmother (my dad’s mom) had “ulcers” but she wasn’t sure exactly what that meant or if they were really ulcers. Unfortunately, my grandmother passed away before I was born, so I never knew her and I wouldn’t have been able to ask about the extent of her “ulcers”. But that’s it really. Not another soul.

Of course, I wondered if maybe I was adopted. Whenever I wonder that out loud, people laugh. I look just like (name any person in my immediate family… name anyone… I look just like them). Ok so fine… I’m not adopted. So on to find out the family bowel history!!!!

It all happened kind of on accident. I was recovering from drinking the gallon of paste they make you drink before a CT scan. HATE THAT STUFF!!! So I was flipping through the channels and came across a show called “Who Do You Think You Are” which is when they pick a celebrity and they go through that celebrity’s family history and I guess nine times out of ten they find an interesting story back there. This particular episode was about Steve Buscemi, an actor from one of my all-time favorite movies, Fargo. (Poor Steve really GETS IT in the end of Fargo). Anyway, as they were looking through census records for Steve, some of the records had little notations on the sides and I couldn’t help but notice that one of the notations said “bowel disease”. Is it possible that I could find out who might have had “bowel disease” in my own family?

So I hopped on and signed up for their two-week free subscription. I’m proud to say that one side of my family has been in the US for a long looooong time (Woot Woot Mayflower yo!) … I’m also proud to say that I can legitimately celebrate St. Patrick’s day (County Cork Represent!!!) and I can also legitimately celebrate Cinco de Mayo. If only these dang relatives of mine were sick enough to get a notation of “bowel disease” on their census records. My great, great, great grandmother on my father’s side had Dropsy… yeah… not helpful gramma…

Did I expect to find the culprit? The rat that infiltrated my once thought to be clean gene pool that’s now all gumped up with autoimmune insanity? No… not really… but it was one of those shot in the dark things that I guess we all wonder about. So far I’ve had fun on I have to get the SUPER version if I want to skip into Mexico and Ireland for more records and I might. I think I’ll just go back to blaming this all on the nasty case of mono I got when I was 18. That was definitely MY fault… One shouldn’t party all weekend, stay up all night and then eat nothing but sour patch kids for breakfast. And wearing a hat to and from swim practice is cool…. now I think it’s cool… and don’t drink coke out of the same bottle of someone who says… “you know I’m really tired, and my throat kinda hurts” … man… so many easy things to avoid… I almost feel bad trying to pin it on someone I’ve never met!!!

Sorry random family member.

Anyway… onward and upward!



The Results, Part Deux…

Today I went to my Gastroenterologist to get the results of my celiac panel and to chit chat about the goings on in my gimpy colon.

I did get the results of of the Celiac panel… are you ready??? Drum roll…. here’s what it says:

“Results may support a diagnosis of celiac disease.”

Woot woot… uh.. well maybe not.. we can’t be sure.

Essentially, I am carrying the gene for celiac to the point where I am at moderate risk for developing celiac disease. I am carrying the Deamidated Giladin Peptide Antibody. So that’s nice, what does that mean? Do I have celiac disease? Well… technically, no, but sorta maybe…

When I got my diagnosis for Crohn’s disease it was there in big sparkly flashing letters.. “YOU HAVE A GNARLY CASE OF CROHN’S DISEASE”

This test did not say that.

So I guess, it means that while I can technically join the celiac club, I probably can also get away with eating gluten but my health will probably be better not eating gluten given that I carry that particular gene. Yeah, it was clear as mud to me too. I guess I have some googling to do.

My GI doctor (who is a rock star by the way) wants me to stay gluten free. I can do that. I’ll join the gluten free club. Like I mentioned before, after reading all that I’ve read on going gluten free, I think I would have a problem actually eating gluten again.

So there’s that.

On the Crohn’s front, there’s more to be said. We are working on getting a capsule endoscopy for me and I was supposed to have another cat scan tomorrow, however, my insurance company hasn’t made with the approval yet which is no big deal. Anyone who has had a cat scan knows the pain of having the drink the “stuff”. I can’t believe they can put a man on the moon but they can’t make the “stuff” taste at least slightly better. I say this with all the honesty in the world that I would rather have the colonoscopy again than have to drink that “stuff”. HATE the “stuff”. HATE IT SO MUCH!!!! The “stuff” is currently sitting in my refrigerator, and they had the GALL to put little berries on the bottle to make it look like a smoothie… like I’m some kind of idiot…

Anyway, today was also the first day the “S” word was mentioned. Surgery. I hesitate to mention it because it was referred as sort of a down the road thing that will probably end up happening. At first I was under the impression that I was a typical Crohn’s disease case and that I would end up down at the general hospital and they would be cutting out my diseased parts as they became useless. But the way our conversation was going with the test results in front of us, it looked like my entire gimpy colon was starting to become useless all at the same time. The other thing is, my Crohn’s is “special”… and so I would get shipped out to the colorectal guy up at Hershey (there’s a party conversation starter… “Hey what do you do?” “I rip out colons… it’s all good”). Then there was talk of going under the anesthesia and waking up with a “bag” . A colostomy bag. That’s enough to say right there… ok, let’s try EVERYTHING.

So currently, EVERYTHING is nine different kinds of medications. We just added three more today. Plus Remicade infusions every eight weeks. I didn’t talk about Remicade yet, and I will probably after my next one which is in two weeks. It’s an interesting, somewhat humbling experience, especially since clearly from the outside, I’m a healthy person getting an infusion for two hours and sitting among some pretty sick people. I usually walk out of there full of Remicade and not feeling so sorry for myself. Things could be much much worse for me.

I think that’s it on that front. I was supposed to get a call from the GI doctor on Monday to discuss the results of the cat scan. The cat scan is to see if the Remicade and all the other meds are working. A side by side analysis type of thing. The capsule endoscopy is to see the whole digestive works. I CAN’T WAIT to see pictures of all of that. I would definitely be grossed out if it wasn’t my own body, but all of these pictures are pretty cool.



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The Results, Part Un…

This morning I checked on the results of my upper endoscopy biopsy. It’s all online now, so here it is:

“Your biopsies were negative for celiac sprue and H-pylori. They did show chronic inactive gastritis and focal active duodenitis. Follow up is another upper endoscopy only if you are having problems, please call our office.”

So off I went to google “chronic inactive gastritis” and “focal active duodenitis”. I have no idea what people with diseases did before google. Anyway, I also went on which has all kinds of neat tidbits and a message board where I’m finding that the biopsy results are not the be all end all of this celiac situation. The message board has a lot of people on there who got a negative biopsy result and a positive blood test. It’s all a bit confusing to me, but I am figuring that the people who make blood tests and biopsy tests don’t have a definitive test for Celiac and therefore, you have to take a bunch of tests and kind of put the pieces of the puzzle together. I’m ok with that and actually, given what I’ve read about gluten lately, I’m not sure I really want to go back to my gluten filled life. Gluten seems evil to those who are sensitive to it. Plus, I’ve gone pretty far with the diet. I mean, I’ve already told my priest to give me gluten-free communion wafers!!! It seems like it’s a done deal!

I have yet to receive the results of my blood work which was all fancy and sent off to sunny San Diego for a super special workup… so special… and fancy! I will find out then if I carry the Celiac gene which should just THRILL my brothers and sisters-in-law to no end. Sorry everyone! I might have gimped up your kids!!!

Sorry my results show isn’t very exciting. I was trying to line up more singing and dancing. Be that as it may, chronic inactive gastritis means that my inner parts were inflamed at some point but they aren’t currently. Focal Active duodenitis means that the Crohn’s hit the top part of my small intestine which I guess now means that I have small bowel Crohn’s… which makes me wonder if I should rename the blog. I’ve become attached to “The Gimpy Colon” so I think I might keep it… even if Crohn’s shows up in my tongue… (which it totally could!!!!)

Tomorrow is the Thursday I’ve been looking forward to. A visit with my very nice, very helpful GI Joe or Dr. Joe, except his name isn’t really Joe… I am hoping for results for the blood tests as well as an explanation as to the biopsy. Maybe a little chat as to why I can’t see the Endocrinologist until November. Perhaps he can move that appointment up a tad… like say, to next week.

Until tomorrow!


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The Gluten Observations…

So it’s what… day 5.. and here’s what I’ve learned so far:

1. If you mention to someone that you either have Celiac disease or a gluten allergy or are going gluten-free for any length of time, people will come out of the woodwork with names, addresses and phone numbers of friends and family and even complete strangers they met in the supermarket who have Celiac disease, or a gluten allergy or went gluten-free and they can “hook you up”.

2. There is this whole netherworld of gluten-free people roaming the earth. So far they are nice and fun and helpful and not one of them is sad about being gluten-free.

3. Most mayonnaise, some kinds of chocolate, and some kinds of cheese are gluten-free. Thank you Lord.

4. I had my very first gluten-free communion wafer yesterday. I’m no communion wafer connoisseur, but a gluten-free communion wafer tastes much better with a swig of wine.

5. I can’t say I feel better precisely, but I definitely feel different. Maybe different is better than before. It’s hard to tell.

6. It’s tough to not be disappointed that my new gluten-free diet will not cure my Crohn’s disease no matter how good I am about it.

7. It looks like almost any food with gluten in it can be swapped out for gluten-free, which now makes eating for me a fun sort of puzzle… like gluten Sudoku.

8. My dog doesn’t like bananas.

9. I’m glad the first Celiac Disease book I read was by Elisabeth Hasslebeck (a former Survivor contestant, and she’s on a daytime show as well.) She dumbed down Celiac Disease enough for me to want to conquer the next book which is called “Your First Year with Celiac Disease” which is in a series. I’ve already read “Your First Year with Crohn’s Disease” and I’m wondering if I should just get the whole autoimmune box set.

10. I made a chocolate peanut butter cheesecake this weekend and couldn’t taste it because I couldn’t be sure if there was gluten in it or not. Try that. Bake something and don’t taste it. I could have totally mixed up the sugar and salt or forgot to put something in… it really was a jump out of the plane without a parachute kind of feeling. Luckily, people either ate it and liked it or were very polite and threw it in the garbage in the other room.

I think that’s it… still no test results… but I’m sure there’s more gluten-free fun to come!!!


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The Third Day…

I still don’t have my results yet, but I’ll go ahead and say it.  I’ll be STUNNED if I don’t have some sort of gluten issue.  STUNNED.  

I started out the second day really only eating my bowel rest stuff, and some rice.  Last night, I was starving so I went down to Giant (grocery store) where they have a decent organic and “special food” section and picked up gluten-free pancake mix (a necessity for Saturday and Sunday mornings), a gluten-free pizza (because pizza is my thing), a gluten-free chicken pasta alfredo which as of right now, I’m actually afraid to eat, gluten-free English muffins, (which look NOTHING like real English muffins, not a nook or a cranny to be had) and some gluten-free Oreo-esque cookies.   The cookies were ok.  Thankfully, they are just ok enough to kill a sugar/sweet craving and not good enough to eat a whole bag, say… like real Oreo cookies.  The English muffins were like biscuits and I like biscuits… so it that was win/win.  The pizza.. I think I can do better on the pizza…especially after eating a biscuit/English muffin.  Interesting experiences ahead. 

I have already decided that I’m going to have to get to cooking a lot of this stuff on my own for it is all incredibly expensive.  The package of 4 English muffins (biscuits!!!) were $5.00, and the pizza (personal sized mind you) was $6.50.  Thanks be that I love to cook. 

I received and started reading the packet of information my GI doctor sent to me as well as the two books I ordered from Amazon.  I am about halfway through the first book which goes into detail about gluten and how it KILLS… or rather, how it gets stuck in your wooden spoons and cutting boards and pots and pans and toasters.  I’m waiting for the part where I have to get on my hands and knees with a flashlight and check the crevices in my kitchen floor.  Seriously, gluten is everywhere… it’s in makeup, toothpaste, shampoo, food (obviously), it’s all over the place.  I’m checking under my fingernails right now. 

Tonight was my first gluten-free trip to a restaurant.  I got a list of restaurants that were “GF friendly”, and gave it to Gimpy’s husband who picked this place near the mall called J.B. Dawsons.  When we got there, I did not know the Celiac protocol was to ask for the super special gluten-free menu when they sat us down.  When I asked for the menu, the waitress asked me if I had a gluten allergy and I told her I did (because I guess I do), she put a big red GLUTEN ALLERGY on our ticket.   I liked that. 

I ended up with a chicken bruschetta pasta thing with rice pasta.  First of all, it was good.  Second of all… it was good.  I mean, rice pasta (or whatever they call it in real life) is not bad stuff.  I’m just hoping I can recreate the whole works at home.   The GF menu was such that I could come back a few times and have different stuff.  So we will definitely be back for the goodness that is JB Dawsons.

How do I feel?  Well, I don’t know.  My Crohn’s stuff has been bothering me a lot lately, and I don’t know which is Crohn’s and which is “alleged” Celiac.  I will say that my stomach now for some reason holds a quarter of what I used to be able to put away.  In a way, I kind of feel like I’ve had gastric bypass or something.  I can only hold about a half a cup of rice and a banana with some peanut butter and I’m full… really full.  Then two hours later, I’m hungry again and it’s the same thing over again.  I ate probably a cup of pasta and chicken at JB Dawsons and I’m sitting here three hours later with a half a cup of rice.   Gimpy’s husband was a bit torked off that I only had a bit of banana on the special gluten-free banana, caramel, dessert thingy we got.  It was good but I was full.  See how that is? 

The news on the endocrinologist is hilarious.  I called my GP doctor, they told me they sent the stuff to the endocrinologist and that the endocrine guy would call me.  I decided to call the endocrinologist just to say hi and see how they were all doing with my paperwork.  The receptionist I spoke to had my stuff and told me that they would call me within two weeks to set an appointment for SOMETIME  IN NOVEMBER.  She said it depends on my test results as to how quickly I get in to see the doctor.   That’s nice.  I have an appointment with the GI doctor on Thursday.  I’ll let him know that I’d rather dive head first into a pool full of gluten than be stuck on prednisone until November.    

Until Thursday!



The First Day…

For some reason, it doesn’t feel at all like the gabillion other times I started a new diet. It might be because the goal is different this time.  I’ve been on the internet researching the gluten free world as much as I could in the past few days since the scope.  I’ve reached out to a mom I met through the my kid’s baseball team whose husband has Celiac Disease.  She, thankfully, remembered me and sent some stellar information.  I’m waiting for a confirmation of diagnosis before I assault her with my questions.   I’m waiting for a packet from my doctor to arrive in the mail all about Celiac.  I ordered two books from Amazon.  One of the books is part of a series.  I already have the book on Crohn’s Disease which dumbed things down just perfectly for me.  So I’m just going to get the one on Celiac Disease too.   I figured that even if I don’t have Celiac disease and this gluten free diet works, then I’ll need the information anyway.   It’s also kind of nice since I was getting a little sick of reading about Crohn’s Disease all the time anyway.

Currently, I’m on what my internet Crohn’s disease friends call “bowel rest”.  Basically, whatever you would feed to a 6 month old, I can have.  So, rice, applesauce, bananas,  gluten-free mush.  It’s an attempt to help the medications do their job since it’s the food that seems to stir things up in the gimpy colon (and maybe I should change the name of the blog and just call myself “gimpy”).

I got my blood drawn for the Celiac screens this morning.  The Gimpy Colon apparently also has gimpy veins.  I just have them take the blood from my hand nowadays.  I don’t even bother rolling up my sleeves.  No word from my GP as to the endocrinologist yet.  I’m told that an appointment with one may take months.. no matter though.. I have my Celiac books to keep me busy.

…had to stop there for a second to grab a delicious and nutritious bottle of Ensure… by golly, it’s just liquid deliciousness… truly… one sip is supreme vitamin MAGIC… and just a touch of chocolate chalk.


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The Goodbye…

My Prometheus Celiac screen and genetic screen for Celiac disease is scheduled for tomorrow morning.  After I take the test I am to go on a gluten-free diet until I get the results.  I’m almost positive that I have celiac.  I don’t really think I need the test.  But you know, definitive answers are always nice.  Although, it would be nice for them to tell me that they screwed up my scope somehow and I won’t have to give up the gluten filled carbs that I love so much.  But I think that’s pure fantasy at this point.

So it dawned on me that tonight is it.  My last adventure with gluten!  It’s time to say good-bye.  Somehow, not being able to have fresh fruits and vegetables and basically any kind of fiber was not as daunting as this seems to be.  In a way, I’m glad to most likely be rid of the evil that is tearing my digestive system apart.  I haven’t really been hungry for months.  I just eat now because I’m supposed to… or because I’m bored…

The question became… What does one have for their “last meal”?    I was going to write “An Ode to Ziti”, my all time favorite meal.   But I see that I can get gluten-free ziti in the organic section of the supermarket.  I might be able to recreate my mom’s fabulous ziti that way.

I looked out my window and I saw the answer… Parma… Parma Pizza and Grill is 300 feet from my house.  Surely, they have gluten there.  So tonight I feast, on stromboli and root beer which also has gluten… then Oreos… with gluten…

Goodbye for now Gluten… and take  your stinkin’ stomach cramps, nausea, fatigue, and BIG FAT CHINS WITH YOU!!!!!


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The Prednisone Mishap…

There’s a little trifecta to my condition(s) going on as well, so I thought I’d share.  I am currently on a drug called prednisone.  Prednisone is a steroid which was originally used to bring my Crohn’s inflammation under control.  I was put on prednisone right after diagnosis which was last November. 

I had/have a love hate relationship with prednisone.  At first, I really liked it.  I felt better.  I had more energy.  I started to get a bit manic.  Did you ever know someone who just had all this energy and was constantly DOING and almost unable to stop?  Like the “how does SHE DO ALL OF THAT” girl?  That could be prednisone.  I was grateful to be on prednisone during the holidays.  All my presents were wrapped with different wrapping paper and matching ribbon and several bows all taped carefully and methodically by the crazy imp girl I had become on prednisone.   I was able to assemble four bedrooms to house my family during the holidays, (I think we were 12 total in the house for several days).. no problem, I was good to go. 

Then one day, maybe three weeks in, I got up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my head was becoming more round.  I noticed that my chin had invited another chin friend to share space with… and my engagement and wedding rings wouldn’t fit anymore.   As the days went on, I noticed that the chin friends were either multiplying or getting bigger.   I had to buy more foundation to cover up the chin friends.  Meanwhile, every night at about 3am I would be awake and I mean wide awake.  I would pick up my Droid and surf the net, read the news, and the at some point around 5am I would drift back to sleep.   No matter though, at 8am, I would be taking another dosage of prednisone and I would be off flying again.  I totally hated the chins though. 

You can’t just stop taking prednisone.  You have to wean yourself off of it under a doctor’s care.   During a follow-up visit in January, my GI doctor decided to put me on another steroid called Entocort.  This steroid would target specific areas in my colon that were inflamed and hopefully take care of the problem.   So that meant that I could wean off the prednisone 5mg per week until  I didn’t take it anymore. 

A few Tuesdays ago, (remember, I don’t do details so well) I stopped the prednisone completely and was eager for the chin friends to pack up all their stuff and go.  The only problem was that I couldn’t stay awake to really care.  I was literally falling asleep at work, and basically taking my lunch breaks in bed and then sleeping right through the alarm.   I also had some cold or allergy symptoms, definitely not anything I would be calling the doctor over but the fatigue was mind-numbing.   I called my GI doctor’s office and they told me to visit my family doctor to confirm that it was a cold and nothing more serious.   So I went to the family doctor and since she’s a rock star doctor, she sent me for blood tests to check my cortisol levels.  I went on a Friday morning for the blood work, and Friday afternoon about 1pm I got a phone call from the doctor saying that my cortisol levels were dangerously low.  My understanding of the whole thing is that my adrenal system crapped out on me since I was taking the prednisone. Once I was off the prednisone, my adrenal system should have picked back up, but it didn’t.  It didn’t even register… lazy a$$ adrenal system….   My doctor called my GI doctor and they decided to put me back on the prednisone at 10mgs per day until we got me to an endocrinologist.   So fine.  Saturday morning, I woke up with cramps in my calves.  Weirdest most annoying pain ever.  But now I was fed up and since it was Saturday and there seems to be an exodus of doctors on Saturdays, I went to the emergency room. 

Now, we have a very nice emergency room.  I’ve never waited more than 20 minutes or so in ours.  I actually like their system so going there isn’t a huge hassle.   This time, I told them what was going on, what the cortisol levels were, where my pain was in the legs and they had no idea what to do with me.  I kind of just wanted reassurance that I wasn’t going to die because of all of this and if I could get that in writing, that would be great. 

I ended up with discharge papers that said “eat more bananas”. 

The following Thursday (this past Thursday), I had my endoscopy and along with the lovely Celiac news, I got instructions from my GI doctor that I HAD to see an endocrinologist because these cortisol levels had to be investigated. 

So let’s review:  Crohn’s disease, probably Celiac disease and now my endocrine system is “special”… oh right… and I picked up a bunch of bananas at Costco the other day…  they were on sale.



The Wacky Diet…

On November 3, 2010, I had a colonoscopy after which my gastroenterologist came in and told me that yep, I have Crohn’s Disease.  Then he told me that I needed to go on what was called a low residue diet.  That essentially means I can’t have anything that has fiber in it or that doesn’t digest to complete mush once it’s processed through the digestive system.

That meant no raw vegetables, raw fruits, nuts, seeds, any kind of that fancy bread that has all that kibble and stuff in it, oatmeal, and a few other things that because I either don’t eat them or don’t miss them, I forgot to put them on this list.

I already knew I had a situation with lactose, and at first I cut out all dairy, but then slowly added back soft cheeses because I’m not into masochism.  I like cheese.  I can live the rest of my life without ice cream.  I think it’s because ice cream rips my stomach to ever-loving shreds.

Currently I’m in an interesting position.  Yesterday, when I woke up from my upper GI endoscopy (sort of like the opposite of a colonoscopy, but they stick the camera in the opposite end of you), my GI came in (very deja vu) and told me that I probably had Celiac disease but I had to take an important test to be sure and if I did have Celiac disease,  I would need to stop eating gluten forever.   The rub however, is that we need to get permission from the insurance company for me to take these tests and therefore, there’s this lag time where I HAVE to eat gluten in order to take the test to find out if I have Celiac disease.  It makes sense that gluten might be what causes my current stomach pain, so I’m itchy to get on this no gluten thing… on the other hand… even people on death row get a last meal… so… tonight is pizza night.

So now that I’m much more aware that the lovely white bread and tortillas are most likely causing me stomach pain, I’m still eating them, knowing that soon probably, they will be out of my life, or perhaps back into my life in a different form.  I haven’t made it to the gluten-free section of my local grocery store yet.  I know it has one and I know it has a lot of foods for the gimpy colon, but I’m waiting for my insurance company to get back to my GI at which time they will schedule these tests.   The discussion of my insurance company vs. coverage vs. the GI vs. the meds vs. the tests will come in a later post, I assure you.

Until then, gluten burgers, with gluten fries and gluten cake for everyone!!!!


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