The Gimpy Colon*

*No, it's not another trendy bar.

The Intro…

on March 7, 2011

Welcome to the Gimpy Colon!!!

I start this blog as a love note to my friends and family who have been so concerned about me and my health.  I thank you all for the phone calls, the notes, the e-mails and even to some extent, the funny faces you give me when I tell you that your fresh-straight-out-of-the-garden salad might kill me.   I never know how much detail to go into about my situation so I decided that I would start a blog and you can decide for yourself how much you want to know.  

About five months ago, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease.  Crohn’s disease is thought to be an autoimmune disease, in which the body’s immune system attacks the gastrointestinal tract, causing inflammation; it is classified as a type of inflammatory bowel disease.  There’s your quick and dirty Crohn’s Disease 101.  More to come as I go along.

Yesterday, I was preliminarily diagnosed with Celiac Disease.  Celiac Disease is yet another autoimmune disorder of the small intestine that occurs in genetically predisposed people of all ages from middle infancy onward.   I actually didn’t do a heck of a lot of research about Celiac Disease because I was hopped up on goofballs from the scope I had yesterday.   Confirmation of the Celiac Disease will be forthcoming, but dollars to doughnuts, I’ve got Celiac too.

You’ll find out quickly, that I’m not big on medical terminology, I’m not detail oriented at all, and I have the attention span of a flea on crack… but at least you’ll know that I’m alive and feeling well enough to type up a blog post.  If you have questions, I’ll do my best to answer them, but I’m not that Dr. Oz guy… despite what you may have heard.

So there it is… as I move along, I’ll tell you about the buckets of medications I have to take, the incredibly bizarre diet I have to follow, and the surprisingly delicious turkey box they give you at the hospital that makes it all worthwhile. 



2 responses to “The Intro…

  1. Renee says:

    Oh, Maura……….I am glad you are using your “gift” of humor to find whatever kind of lightness you can in a heavy situation. I have a friend who had Chrone’s (sp) and is now FREE OF IT. So there is hope……….I think. I mean, she’s doing okay. God bless you.

  2. Puddin' or butter.... says:

    We always knew you were a little special. At least that’s what mom always said.
    But it’s great to see the stand up comic in you shine through. Perhaps you should do that professionally because you know….when your famous people will have food and drink waiting for you wherever you go. You can be a little Diva and demand they have your crazy wacky diet food waiting for you. 🙂

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