The Gimpy Colon*

*No, it's not another trendy bar.

The Wacky Diet…

on March 11, 2011

On November 3, 2010, I had a colonoscopy after which my gastroenterologist came in and told me that yep, I have Crohn’s Disease.  Then he told me that I needed to go on what was called a low residue diet.  That essentially means I can’t have anything that has fiber in it or that doesn’t digest to complete mush once it’s processed through the digestive system.

That meant no raw vegetables, raw fruits, nuts, seeds, any kind of that fancy bread that has all that kibble and stuff in it, oatmeal, and a few other things that because I either don’t eat them or don’t miss them, I forgot to put them on this list.

I already knew I had a situation with lactose, and at first I cut out all dairy, but then slowly added back soft cheeses because I’m not into masochism.  I like cheese.  I can live the rest of my life without ice cream.  I think it’s because ice cream rips my stomach to ever-loving shreds.

Currently I’m in an interesting position.  Yesterday, when I woke up from my upper GI endoscopy (sort of like the opposite of a colonoscopy, but they stick the camera in the opposite end of you), my GI came in (very deja vu) and told me that I probably had Celiac disease but I had to take an important test to be sure and if I did have Celiac disease,  I would need to stop eating gluten forever.   The rub however, is that we need to get permission from the insurance company for me to take these tests and therefore, there’s this lag time where I HAVE to eat gluten in order to take the test to find out if I have Celiac disease.  It makes sense that gluten might be what causes my current stomach pain, so I’m itchy to get on this no gluten thing… on the other hand… even people on death row get a last meal… so… tonight is pizza night.

So now that I’m much more aware that the lovely white bread and tortillas are most likely causing me stomach pain, I’m still eating them, knowing that soon probably, they will be out of my life, or perhaps back into my life in a different form.  I haven’t made it to the gluten-free section of my local grocery store yet.  I know it has one and I know it has a lot of foods for the gimpy colon, but I’m waiting for my insurance company to get back to my GI at which time they will schedule these tests.   The discussion of my insurance company vs. coverage vs. the GI vs. the meds vs. the tests will come in a later post, I assure you.

Until then, gluten burgers, with gluten fries and gluten cake for everyone!!!!

Cheers!

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One response to “The Wacky Diet…

  1. Lisa Kernic says:

    Hey Maura,

    This blog is a great thing…thanks for taking the time to keep those around you in the loop! FYI, I am happy to pass on over 5lbs of gluten free flour we bought sometime ago–thinking Tim should be gluten free for a trial. Yeah, well, we never got there and he appears to be fine….(insert appropriate comment here)….

    So here’s hoping the insurance folks give the nod and you get some more answers!

    Cheers!

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