The Gimpy Colon*

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The Goodbye…

on March 15, 2011

My Prometheus Celiac screen and genetic screen for Celiac disease is scheduled for tomorrow morning.  After I take the test I am to go on a gluten-free diet until I get the results.  I’m almost positive that I have celiac.  I don’t really think I need the test.  But you know, definitive answers are always nice.  Although, it would be nice for them to tell me that they screwed up my scope somehow and I won’t have to give up the gluten filled carbs that I love so much.  But I think that’s pure fantasy at this point.

So it dawned on me that tonight is it.  My last adventure with gluten!  It’s time to say good-bye.  Somehow, not being able to have fresh fruits and vegetables and basically any kind of fiber was not as daunting as this seems to be.  In a way, I’m glad to most likely be rid of the evil that is tearing my digestive system apart.  I haven’t really been hungry for months.  I just eat now because I’m supposed to… or because I’m bored…

The question became… What does one have for their “last meal”?    I was going to write “An Ode to Ziti”, my all time favorite meal.   But I see that I can get gluten-free ziti in the organic section of the supermarket.  I might be able to recreate my mom’s fabulous ziti that way.

I looked out my window and I saw the answer… Parma… Parma Pizza and Grill is 300 feet from my house.  Surely, they have gluten there.  So tonight I feast, on stromboli and root beer which also has gluten… then Oreos… with gluten…

Goodbye for now Gluten… and take  your stinkin’ stomach cramps, nausea, fatigue, and BIG FAT CHINS WITH YOU!!!!!



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