The Gimpy Colon*

*No, it's not another trendy bar.

The Goodbye…

on March 15, 2011

My Prometheus Celiac screen and genetic screen for Celiac disease is scheduled for tomorrow morning.  After I take the test I am to go on a gluten-free diet until I get the results.  I’m almost positive that I have celiac.  I don’t really think I need the test.  But you know, definitive answers are always nice.  Although, it would be nice for them to tell me that they screwed up my scope somehow and I won’t have to give up the gluten filled carbs that I love so much.  But I think that’s pure fantasy at this point.

So it dawned on me that tonight is it.  My last adventure with gluten!  It’s time to say good-bye.  Somehow, not being able to have fresh fruits and vegetables and basically any kind of fiber was not as daunting as this seems to be.  In a way, I’m glad to most likely be rid of the evil that is tearing my digestive system apart.  I haven’t really been hungry for months.  I just eat now because I’m supposed to… or because I’m bored…

The question became… What does one have for their “last meal”?    I was going to write “An Ode to Ziti”, my all time favorite meal.   But I see that I can get gluten-free ziti in the organic section of the supermarket.  I might be able to recreate my mom’s fabulous ziti that way.

I looked out my window and I saw the answer… Parma… Parma Pizza and Grill is 300 feet from my house.  Surely, they have gluten there.  So tonight I feast, on stromboli and root beer which also has gluten… then Oreos… with gluten…

Goodbye for now Gluten… and take  your stinkin’ stomach cramps, nausea, fatigue, and BIG FAT CHINS WITH YOU!!!!!

Cheers!

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