The Gimpy Colon*

*No, it's not another trendy bar.

The Third Day…

on March 18, 2011

I still don’t have my results yet, but I’ll go ahead and say it.  I’ll be STUNNED if I don’t have some sort of gluten issue.  STUNNED.  

I started out the second day really only eating my bowel rest stuff, and some rice.  Last night, I was starving so I went down to Giant (grocery store) where they have a decent organic and “special food” section and picked up gluten-free pancake mix (a necessity for Saturday and Sunday mornings), a gluten-free pizza (because pizza is my thing), a gluten-free chicken pasta alfredo which as of right now, I’m actually afraid to eat, gluten-free English muffins, (which look NOTHING like real English muffins, not a nook or a cranny to be had) and some gluten-free Oreo-esque cookies.   The cookies were ok.  Thankfully, they are just ok enough to kill a sugar/sweet craving and not good enough to eat a whole bag, say… like real Oreo cookies.  The English muffins were like biscuits and I like biscuits… so it that was win/win.  The pizza.. I think I can do better on the pizza…especially after eating a biscuit/English muffin.  Interesting experiences ahead. 

I have already decided that I’m going to have to get to cooking a lot of this stuff on my own for it is all incredibly expensive.  The package of 4 English muffins (biscuits!!!) were $5.00, and the pizza (personal sized mind you) was $6.50.  Thanks be that I love to cook. 

I received and started reading the packet of information my GI doctor sent to me as well as the two books I ordered from Amazon.  I am about halfway through the first book which goes into detail about gluten and how it KILLS… or rather, how it gets stuck in your wooden spoons and cutting boards and pots and pans and toasters.  I’m waiting for the part where I have to get on my hands and knees with a flashlight and check the crevices in my kitchen floor.  Seriously, gluten is everywhere… it’s in makeup, toothpaste, shampoo, food (obviously), it’s all over the place.  I’m checking under my fingernails right now. 

Tonight was my first gluten-free trip to a restaurant.  I got a list of restaurants that were “GF friendly”, and gave it to Gimpy’s husband who picked this place near the mall called J.B. Dawsons.  When we got there, I did not know the Celiac protocol was to ask for the super special gluten-free menu when they sat us down.  When I asked for the menu, the waitress asked me if I had a gluten allergy and I told her I did (because I guess I do), she put a big red GLUTEN ALLERGY on our ticket.   I liked that. 

I ended up with a chicken bruschetta pasta thing with rice pasta.  First of all, it was good.  Second of all… it was good.  I mean, rice pasta (or whatever they call it in real life) is not bad stuff.  I’m just hoping I can recreate the whole works at home.   The GF menu was such that I could come back a few times and have different stuff.  So we will definitely be back for the goodness that is JB Dawsons.

How do I feel?  Well, I don’t know.  My Crohn’s stuff has been bothering me a lot lately, and I don’t know which is Crohn’s and which is “alleged” Celiac.  I will say that my stomach now for some reason holds a quarter of what I used to be able to put away.  In a way, I kind of feel like I’ve had gastric bypass or something.  I can only hold about a half a cup of rice and a banana with some peanut butter and I’m full… really full.  Then two hours later, I’m hungry again and it’s the same thing over again.  I ate probably a cup of pasta and chicken at JB Dawsons and I’m sitting here three hours later with a half a cup of rice.   Gimpy’s husband was a bit torked off that I only had a bit of banana on the special gluten-free banana, caramel, dessert thingy we got.  It was good but I was full.  See how that is? 

The news on the endocrinologist is hilarious.  I called my GP doctor, they told me they sent the stuff to the endocrinologist and that the endocrine guy would call me.  I decided to call the endocrinologist just to say hi and see how they were all doing with my paperwork.  The receptionist I spoke to had my stuff and told me that they would call me within two weeks to set an appointment for SOMETIME  IN NOVEMBER.  She said it depends on my test results as to how quickly I get in to see the doctor.   That’s nice.  I have an appointment with the GI doctor on Thursday.  I’ll let him know that I’d rather dive head first into a pool full of gluten than be stuck on prednisone until November.    

Until Thursday!



2 responses to “The Third Day…

  1. Puddin' or butter.... says:

    I guess a last hoorah at UNOs is out. I bid you glad tidings as you enter the gluten free world. I can greatfully say, while I will make you some gluten free goodies, you can keep that world to yourself. Besides….they like you there!!

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