The Gimpy Colon*

*No, it's not another trendy bar.

The Side Effects…

Sorry everyone! Time has not been on my side lately. We had 24 people here for our Easter celebration which was a lot of fun, but lots of work. On a good note, I’ve been improving pretty much all around. I can’t tell if I can attribute that to the medications, or the diet I’m following… Basically, I’m drinking about 4 Ensures per day and eating 1 meal of mush. Every weekend we go out to a restaurant and that’s only challenging if I don’t bring along my gluten-free bread. Honestly, I’m not hungry and my guts do feel better. It seems the less I eat, the better off I am.

To be honest, my comfy place is with the Ensures. It’s interesting to eat a meal and make bets with myself as to whether or not I will have pain later on. Sometimes I just know that I’m in trouble and rock the pain meds beforehand. It’ll be a miracle if I get to heaven and NOT be a pain med addict. At least I’m nice about it.

I’ve got two really exciting side effects that I would love to get rid of. The first one, I’m told is a side effect of the prednisone (damn that stuff!!!) and the other one, I’m told is a side effect of Crohn’s Disease itself. The first one is that I cannot eat or drink anything that isn’t 98.6 degrees unless I have a straw. Anything that’s too hot or too cold sends me into orbit. My teeth can’t handle it. I’m not kidding… I have been drinking bottled water, but I don’t refrigerate it because my teeth can’t take it. I HAVE to refrigerate Ensures because they don’t taste so special at room temperature… for those interesting situations, I have my big box of straws. I had to cancel a dental appointment for next week because I am NOT going through a cleaning in my current state. It’s that bad.

The second one is way more fun. My hair is falling out! If you see me with a pony tail or a hat, it’s because I’m going bald. Nice huh. Every morning I brush my hair, go get dressed and come back to clumps of hair that settled all over the bathroom sink, the floor, all over the place. It’s lovely. The upside (there’s ALWAYS an upside) is the leg shaving is at a minimum. I’ll bet you wish you were me!!!

I asked some new internet friends what the deal was with the hair loss… they said it happens to us all.. it’s a Crohn’s disease thing. So let’s review… big fat giant basketball head, with no hair, and teeth that can only handle room temperature food. That’s Miss America stuff right there… too bad I’m married… I would have that competition in the bag.

But enough of that, on to this week’s shout out! Congratulations to The Spa at Hotel Hershey for this week’s Glutie Award! Every year on or around my birthday for the past five or so years, I would treat myself to a massage and a pedicure at a local spa. Last year, a friend and I discovered that our birthdays were very close and that we should try the Spa at the Hotel Hershey. The Hershey Spa has packages so you can get a massage and a pedicure and they have a buffet area where you can eat lunch in your spa robe. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this place. Now I love it even more hence the shout out. I called them a few days before our appointment and asked if they could accommodate my gimpy colon. They said they could and asked me what I would like to have for lunch. I told them my diet requirements and gave them carte blanche…

So after my fantastic massage, we went down to the Oasis Café, and there waiting for me was a yummy turkey sandwich on some nice gluten free bread and this potato salad that was so delicious I could go on and on… but I won’t because I don’t want to drool all over my keyboard. Then there was a flourless chocolate thing that … well, no need to go on… it’s HERSHEY… all gluten-free and all delicious.

Definitely put The Spa at the Hotel Hershey on your bucket list if you haven’t already been.

Onward and upward!