The Gimpy Colon*

*No, it's not another trendy bar.

The Good News…

on November 9, 2011

Yesterday morning I had my yearly colonoscopy at my GI doctor’s office annex thingy where they do all kinds of oscopies. I did the prep. The prep is always the worst part. Essentially I had to clear out my colon which by default means that I had to clear out my entire system. I couldn’t eat anything for the entire day before except clear stuff like broth (which got old so very fast) jello (which I didn’t have) and Gatorade which is delicious BUT not food.

I had to take four Dulcolax tablets and then dump a bottle of Miralax powder into 64 ounces of orange Gatorade. That part is fine. If you cut it up into 8 ounces every half hour, it’s very doable. I won’t go into being chained to the bathroom for most of the evening. Suffice to say, you probably can guess how the rest of that went. I’ve heard of people having to drink some kind of “stuff” that again has the deceiving picture of berries on it as though to trick the mind into believing it’s some sort of cocktail. Not true… don’t be fooled…

I was a little nervous because not taking any of my pain medications meant that I felt pain and so I thought that I was going to get bad news… I really wanted to stay on Remicade, as I’ve mentioned before. Farmboy and I talked about him learning how to give me shots if that was going to be the next thing, so I was ready for that possiblity

The next morning, we put the boy on the bus and head off to Gastroland. Gastroland is happily situated one floor above my regular GI’s office which makes it convenient and easy to remember. We check in, Farmboy has his Star Trek books, I have my busy bag. We wait. I am called to go in, the nurse has me sign off on any responsibility the doctor may have in goofing up the colonoscopy.. always a good time. I get my little cubby area, my bed, my gown that covers nothing and my super socks with the little treads. I get all the vitals taken, they start an IV. My beloved GI doctor comes in and we chat for a bit on how the year has gone. I give him my results from last year’s colonoscopy and he’s happy to get to compare the two for me. Fantastic bedside manner, this guy. Later an anesthesiologist comes in and asks me a few more thousand questions, and rolls me on into the room where the thermostat was set on “meat locker”. A few minutes later I go to the place Michael Jackson has been, but I get to return a mere 30 minutes or so later…

I get wheeled back to my cubby, Farmboy comes back in and starts his ginger ale, gluten-free chip job. The GI comes in, all smiles and says that I’ve had an amazing turn around. The colonoscopy from last year is angry and RED, RED, RED… this year’s is a happy inside the colon picture that I almost want to frame. The GI said the Remicade is working, everything we are doing is working. There was one area where I still had a bit of an ulcer and he wanted me to go on steroids to which I said NO!!!! (see prior posts with regard to all of that nonsense with the steroids…) He is fine with that and crosses the order off on the sheet.

The GI says I can have basically whatever I want that is gluten-free. I still have markers for Celiac both on the endoscopy and on my Prometheus test and chances are if I don’t have it now, I’ll end up with it. So anyway, I’m supposed to start really slow, eat one kind of fruit or vegetable or nut at a time, find out my triggers, don’t gorge (for those of you who know me really well, you know that’s a tough request!). I’m out of my mind happy. I feel like I just won the lottery.

I know from reading other blogs and message boards that sometimes these things are short-lived, that one stress can trigger a massive Crohn’s fail when I least expect it. I get that. I’m ok with that… I just really want to eat a pear right now…. And so I am… WOOT!!!!

Until next time people!



5 responses to “The Good News…

  1. damudder says:

    Good job! Will you be continuing the Remicade?

  2. dispatchsunshine says:

    I’m so glad for you! I know what it’s like to be denied certain foods and then finally be allowed to have them.

    I thoroughly enjoyed your blog. You should totally write a book about your experiences. Your blog is informative without ever being dry. It’s FUNNY as always!

    Love you!

  3. cathy blount says:

    Time for some rice ziti!!!! Wonderful news, Maura!

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